You know, I'm not always happy.

Look at Zack. He's so happy. His life is so perfect. He's always smiling. He's never mad or angry.

Wrong.

I hate when people think I'm perfect and I've been innocent from the day I was born. Growing up in an... unreserved family of sorts, I've come to know a lot of things. See things. Hear things. Experience things that your normal average day kid/teen/youngin' experiences. I have experienced so many impure things that I hate it, but I have, and I'm only stronger because of it. Yeah, I look at things a lot differently than the average kid might, but maybe with this greater understanding, I can see it in a different, better way.

Sorry. I don't mean to ramble on or make anyone feel like I'm better than them because I've experienced more. That's not true at all, if anything, it probably makes me a much worse person than you. It's just, I hate when people ask me if I've experienced something, which chances are I have, and it's not the cleanest, brightest, most innocent thing on earth, and then they tear that thing up, from my past, and throw it in my face like the person I am today was the cause for me doing that. SHUT UP. My past is my past, and while there are loads of beautiful gracious moments that I will precious forever, there's a fair share of dark, ugly experiences, and a lot of those I won't mind bringing up, but I certainly do not want to go onto vivid detail about them. So just zip it. Don't ask me more. If I want you to know, I'll letcha. It's that simple.

I love you. God loves you. Smile, and be happy. Don't dwell in the dark alone, you'll get lost and may never find your way out. Always bring a light. Always bring the light of God with you. It shines as bright and everlasting as the Sun. And remember, the light of God isn't always what you think it is.

Goodnight, bright people.

Quick, for realz this time

Alright, first day of school, whoohoo! Classes are dullish, I mean, it'll be an easy year, but some people in classes are just... UGH. I've been using that expression often of late. Anywho, this is quick so I will get to the quickness, quickly, now!

Three Main Goals for this school year.

1. Ready. Basically, I don't need to procrastinate, I need to be ready, not slack in a sense of time, and have everything done when it needs to be done. I also need to remember many things to be prepared for whatever question may come about! Not doing so hot on this one, as seen in my procrastination of Summer Reading.

2. Healthy. I need to eat healthier, that's that. I suck at eating bad, and I've suffered more recently because of it (high blood pressure) and I've also witnessed, very expressively, the pain associated with bad eating habits. I'm doing pretty good on this one, preparing a healthy lunch for myself the first two days of school GO ME!

3. Aware. I need to be in contact with everyone as much as I can, as we all know I suffer from this anyways. I absolutely SUCK at getting back to people on a short-hand basis. Recently, however, I have been doing great at talking to relatives on Sundays as they are an easy going day on most people so it makes for good calling time. Still working on the short-term responsiveness.

These goals will only work towards my status of BOLD. Whoohoo! With all of these things being said, I close with this: Mind, Body, and Spirit are three key parts to mastering life, but mastering them can only come when all have equal attention at a supreme level. When one lacks, the others lack in compensation for the prime lacker.

Wow, my wisdom is bad when it comes to spark of the moment thoughts. Oh well, works for me!

So long, fair well, until we meet again!

Short and Sweet

I need to be in bed. That's ok. I need to vent, I have you! Yeah, one follower, I know, but that's how I like it. I used to have Twitter, but now everyone follows it and it's just not as personal. This is personal.

Anyways, I was just thinking, that, if I would want to change anyones life in any way, it would be a change in a person that brings out themselves, that breaks their shell, that frees them from pressure, stress, views, hardships, constraints, lies, jealousy, embarrassment, and a lack of boldness. I could just say I want to make people bolder, but even I have to work to do there. I just hate that people are so held back by all those things, and it sucks to know that when I talk to someone, I know there is so much more behind a person then what they're giving me. Argh. It truly breaks my heart to see this. I have been through it myself, and I feel practically enlightened now that I am free, care-free, and high on life. I see so many youngin's that struggle with this, and I just want to help so bad. I (unwillingly) got put on the noobster team for band camp, and though I wasn't looking forward to it in the beginning (heck, I'd practically planned half of brasses STUFF) I am so glad that I am on it now. I almost want to give a speech tomorrow explaining how much I love and look up to each and every one of them and how they remind me of myself which is sad because it's my last year but at the same time glorifying to know that they have so far to go and so much to experience in the coming years, just as I have (and I am, for one more year at least). Last night, I balled in bed listening to some orchestral music just thinking about life, how far I've come, and how far I've got to go. Unfortunately, it leant towards the how far I've come side, and it was my first "senior" moment just knowing that all of this is ending, all this freedom, immaturity, crazy good times, and just the kid inside of me. But that is one thing I will never give up, that I am a kid on the inside. No one will ever, EVER hold back the kid in me. I am an emotional, crazy, care-free, and bouncing individual that happens to be dancing right this moment, and I love it. It's one of the greatest feelings ever, and it can't be changed. When I get to heaven, God will be saying, "Hey, Kid!" as I say to many people this day. You are out there, those of you who I have described perfectly in this blog, and I can't thank you enough for being apart of my life, for being as kiddy as me, silly as me, and free as me. My smile grows wider every time you enter my life, each new soul, and even though you might be hiding behind something, you should be pleased to know that each and every person on earth has been described in this blog, just most of us are captive, and yearn for freedom. I've met so many kind, hilarious, caring, and silly kids these past two weeks and it sets my soul even freer to know that they will experience this transformation, this Chrysalis if you will, in the coming years.

I Love You. God Loves You. Stay True. Be Free.

Keep Smiling :)

Hello, You :) It's been a while, as it always has been. I just thought I would blog about how happy I am.

Everything is. Does that make sense? Basically, God has got me here, doing what I do, and even when things are going wrong, I've found that it's going to go that way, so you might as well keep smiling and be happy because there isn't going to be a positive turn around from a negative solution, only a positive turn around from a positive solution, which in my case, involves smiling. I strive to live my life by many adjectives: splendid, wondrous, magical, happy, joyous, and many, many others, these just being ones that revolve around positive attitude. Want to know another bit of information? It works. Positive attitude has done more for me than sliced bread, and I can be a testimony to it in saying that it works!

OK, so I am going on about a bunch of NONSENSE. I understand, it really makes no sense when you put it all together. You can only get it when... you get it. Why am I even blogging about being happy? Well for starters, I am happy and it's only more positive reinforcement (ahh, another thing I believe in, but another blog will find it keeping those words of mine). Why else? Well today I overheard some people just talking about how "Zack can never be mad at anyone!" and "He's always just a happy guy!" Whilst I wish these statements were true, they are about as false as my Aunt Mable's teeth. However, I love hearing things like this, because I know that these people can come to me when they are down, find me when they can't find themselves, see a dim light in the deepest, darkest of caves. Among other things that I love, helping people on a personal level is one of the things I love the most! I love being that beacon of light to people, leading by example and showing people that, while there isn't a correct way to get through the river of life, you can paddle a certain way to make the journey smoother. Another reason I love being looked up upon is the fact that I look up to so few people, and admire them so tremendously, that I feel the people that look up to me must have the same feelings.

Wow, I must sound conceited. I'M NOT! I may be selfish in a sense that I love the feeling of helping others and by doing so I am, in turn, helping myself. But, I only make these remarks to admit that it is only making me a happier person, and that is my goal, to be

the happiest I can be, and to spread it all around like Swine Flu.

I love you. I hope you are doing just peachy! I hope you are happy, and if you aren't, I beg you to seek me out. I wouldn't dare dwell on the doubt that I couldn't seek you out, and I love such a feeling, knowing that someone, like you, is waiting for me. Ahh, the great ways God just makes everyone for everyone else. We are all a perfect 6.6 billion piece puzzle waiting to be put together in a picture of peace and happiness.

If you are ever feeling down, even the slightest bit or to the most extremes, just remember there is always something you can do... always.

Cover your ears from the noise with happy tunes (Owl City, anyone?)

Seek out that lighthouse of a friend.

Keep Smiling :)

Did anyone catch the bold words? Wasn't planned really, I just did it after. I'm not that good! Anyways, put the bold words together. Make sense of it :P