You know, I'm not always happy.

Look at Zack. He's so happy. His life is so perfect. He's always smiling. He's never mad or angry.

Wrong.

I hate when people think I'm perfect and I've been innocent from the day I was born. Growing up in an... unreserved family of sorts, I've come to know a lot of things. See things. Hear things. Experience things that your normal average day kid/teen/youngin' experiences. I have experienced so many impure things that I hate it, but I have, and I'm only stronger because of it. Yeah, I look at things a lot differently than the average kid might, but maybe with this greater understanding, I can see it in a different, better way.

Sorry. I don't mean to ramble on or make anyone feel like I'm better than them because I've experienced more. That's not true at all, if anything, it probably makes me a much worse person than you. It's just, I hate when people ask me if I've experienced something, which chances are I have, and it's not the cleanest, brightest, most innocent thing on earth, and then they tear that thing up, from my past, and throw it in my face like the person I am today was the cause for me doing that. SHUT UP. My past is my past, and while there are loads of beautiful gracious moments that I will precious forever, there's a fair share of dark, ugly experiences, and a lot of those I won't mind bringing up, but I certainly do not want to go onto vivid detail about them. So just zip it. Don't ask me more. If I want you to know, I'll letcha. It's that simple.

I love you. God loves you. Smile, and be happy. Don't dwell in the dark alone, you'll get lost and may never find your way out. Always bring a light. Always bring the light of God with you. It shines as bright and everlasting as the Sun. And remember, the light of God isn't always what you think it is.

Goodnight, bright people.